The love I know is anxious and fearful.
It requires constant effort to protect, and one must stay on edge all day to keep it from being taken away. Moreover, one must polish oneself perfectly to be worthy of that love.
That was the love I experienced, and that was the love I learned.
‘So, this is more of a... comfort than love.’
A comfort I gained after being utterly weary of people, upon finding my sole ally. A desire to lean on someone.
The conclusion I reached last night after abandoning sleep was somewhat persuasive.
"You look absolutely beautiful today as well!"
The maidservants exclaimed in admiration as I dressed for the final banquet.
It seemed they had concluded they must flatter me, as I had lain down declaring I would meet no one until just before the banquet started today, despite having rested deeply yesterday.
I nodded appropriately and left the palace, where I met Heinri, who had come to greet me just as on the first day.
The banquet hall wasn't far, and as we had several matters to discuss, we decided to walk, combining it with a stroll. Thanks to deliberately wearing comfortable shoes, my feet were at ease.
As we entered the corridor leading to the banquet hall building, Heinri subtly initiated conversation.
"You rested, so why does your complexion look worse?"
"It couldn't possibly be worse. You must be mistaken."
As I stared straight ahead with a serious expression, I felt his gaze studying me curiously from the side.
"More importantly, how was yesterday's banquet?"
When I quickly changed the subject, he lowered his voice while escorting me.
"They approached."
After confirming the palace attendants were maintaining an appropriate distance from us, he added a quiet question.
"What on earth did you say to them?"
The 'they' Heinri referred to was Roam. As expected, Roam had intended to use the banquet to approach. Since I was avoiding all outside activities, it was only natural they would use such an official occasion.
"I said I was being confined."
"...And they believed that?"
Heinri muttered in a disbelieving tone. Not knowing Roam's disposition, he might think that. I nodded nonchalantly.
"If not, they wouldn't be able to interpret why I'm holed up here in the imperial palace."
From the start, Roam was completely unaware of the existence of the key I sought in the palace, so they would have looked for other reasons for my presence.
They might have even discerned that I was trying to bring down Lilia or Maxel somehow.
But they likely concluded my capabilities ended there.
"They don't think it's to protect the imperial palace?"
"You know they are of a different caliber than any other vassals. They firmly believe that protecting the imperial palace can only be achieved through a close relationship between the imperial family and Roam."
"A truly arrogant notion."
"Yes, that is precisely why Your Highness must oust them all."
Since Heinri had already decided to take down both Maxel and the Emperor simultaneously, it would be better in the long run to replace them all now, however difficult.
"There are many who have been suppressed, merely watching for an opportunity. So filling their vacant positions shouldn't be difficult."
Heinri, narrowing his eyes as if calculating something internally, glanced at me.
"But truly, do you intend to accept the Duke's invitation?"
"Haven't you already agreed with my father? To quietly extract me."
Heinri would want the Resurrected One to remain in the palace, so why help with an escape?
What persuaded Roam, who harbored such doubts, was Heinri's pure devotion. The explanation was that Heinri loved me so much he decided to act as I wished.
Well... it wasn't entirely wrong.
"Well, since it was a part of the plan we already discussed, I did so."
At my words, Heinri hesitated, his lips twitching, before cautiously continuing.
"...His Majesty the Emperor is already selecting a date for the ceremony."
"For Your Highness's and my engagement?"
When I chuckled and asked in return, Heinri shook his head and replied in a somber voice.
"Not an engagement, but a marriage."
His voice seemed to carry the embarrassment he was feeling now.
'To think he's putting on such an earnest act. His expression later will be something to see.'
I bit my lip tightly to suppress the laughter threatening to burst out.
Then, I inadvertently recalled yesterday's events. Simultaneously, the relaxed smile that had graced my lips vanished in an instant.
I quickly cleared my throat, erasing the thoughts from my mind.
"Ahem, hmm. So, you mentioned that to my father?"
"I subtly hinted it to the Duke yesterday, but I'm not sure if he will defy His Majesty as we intend."
Heinri furrowed his brow. He seemed distrustful of my father.
"My father approaching you means Roam has finalized all decisions. Roam does not act hastily."
All deliberation and trial and error are concluded within the family. Since my appearance at the palace, Roam must have been observing and pondering over me, holding numerous internal meetings.
My father's move meant they had sifted through dozens of plans and reached a single conclusion.
And I was confident that conclusion was what I intended.
"Ah, about Xenon."
Then, Heinri changed the subject.
"...Yes?"
"He suddenly requested permission to use magic today, so I connected him with the Ministry of Magic, but do you know what he's planning to do?"
Feeling a sudden pang, I averted my gaze and struggled to keep my voice calm.
"...I'm not sure. I can't even begin to guess."
Since he came to the detached palace early this morning and I sent him away without even seeing his face, could it be related to that?
"If even you don't know, it might be a personal matter."
Heinri dismissed it as unimportant. And I tried hard to cool and settle my mind. Fortunately, the banquet hall was drawing near.
"..."
Seeing the noise and bright lights of the banquet hall naturally brought to mind the countless people inside. This helped me quickly regain my composure.
As I repeatedly affirmed my inner calm, Heinri suddenly asked as if something had occurred to him.
"By the way, don't you plan to destroy Maxel's palace before leaving?"
"Do you sincerely wish to destroy it?"
Or is there another intention?
Rolling my eyes to glance at him, he answered in a gentle tone.
"There's no reason to lie now, is there? It has always been an eyesore. When only the roof flew off, I was so disappointed."
Fortunately, his sentiment aligned with mine. However, somehow, the emotion reflected in Heinri's eyes seemed far more intense than mine.
Well, it's amusing because of that, but is it really something to be this obsessive about...?
"Dealing with Roam takes precedence. If there's time after that's settled, I'll destroy it."
"Thank you. If you just inform me of the date in advance, I'll ensure the palace personnel are evacuated."
Heinri smiled brightly and thanked me. I gazed at him for a moment before quietly withdrawing my gaze.
When a man holds a grudge, he can be this fearsome. I must be careful not to incur Heinri's resentment.
'...Did I already earn his resentment by rejecting his confession?'
I considered asking subtly but decided against it. No need to stir up trouble.
* * *
Maxel and Lilia were absent from the banquet. The Emperor tried hard to gloss over the Crown Prince's actions favorably, but the underlying intent was ultimately to express dissatisfaction with me.
Having been humiliated by Samuel and Xenon on the first day and likely preparing thoroughly to retaliate on the second, my absence must have completely twisted their disposition.
Perhaps it was an act not agreed upon with the Emperor either, as the Emperor's complexion, as he tried to cover for them, wasn't very good either.
In the end, the Emperor left the banquet hall early, and not long after, the Empress declared she would entrust guest reception to Heinri.
Consequently, another very favorable environment was created for Heinri today.
'It's more comfortable for me too without Maxel and Lilia.'
Before heading to the balcony where I was to meet my father, I danced a couple of times as a courtesy.
Once with my partner Heinri, and once with Samuel.
Then, the nobles who had only watched cautiously on the first day and failed to get any opportunity on the second finally began to approach me on the third day. However, since the obligatory courtesy dances were already more than done, I mercilessly declined their dance requests.
After that, I scanned the banquet hall, gauging the timing to head to the balcony as naturally as possible.
'He's not here?'
Xenon, whom I expected to come scurrying over as soon as I entered the hall, was nowhere to be seen.
'...Did something happen at the Magic Tower?'
Or is there another issue? Thinking about him, I realized at some point that I knew very little about Xenon.
At most, I knew his mother had passed away, and he had an older brother who was involved in a power struggle and expelled from the Magic Tower?
What I required of him were various miscellaneous tasks needed during travel, and to assign those, I didn't need to know his private information.
Then, in the future...
"Resurrected One."
A servant holding a tray with a glass approached me.
"I've brought the wine you ordered."
I had never ordered wine. So this was a signal from someone.
Gazing at the bright red wine sloshing in the transparent glass, I obediently accepted it.
"I need to get some fresh air. If the First Prince is looking for me, you may inform him."
"Yes, understood."
As I moved, a few people tried to subtly follow me onto the balcony. However, having asked Samuel for help in advance, he led the priests to block their way.
Glancing at the nobles being caught and proselytized by the priests, I entered the balcony.
It was the very spot I had once entered to watch the Crown Prince's palace being destroyed.
"You haven't been waiting long, have you? Father."
When I asked calmly, my father, standing in the shadows, stepped forward, revealing himself.
My father paused briefly, slowly looking me over.
"I was very worried, hearing you were confined, but you look well, so that's a relief."
Unexpectedly, his first words were an utterly normal inquiry about my well-being.
For me, who had anticipated the conversation would proceed similarly to my mother's, it was disconcerting, but I soon nodded nonchalantly.
"You look well too, Father."
"I was quite surprised hearing the story from Melonia."
Mentioning my mother, my father moved to a slightly brighter spot. I had expected him to approach ambitiously, but that wasn't the case.
Rather, he felt somewhat somber, which was strange.
"Do you truly miss home?"
"I thought you had already completed all preparations to take me away."
"To the position of Phrygian?"
My father narrowed his eyes.
"Is that truly the position you desire?"
I almost let out an inadvertent scoff.