Especially when dancing with Samuel, the dress that flared out in a circle looked like a flower in full bloom, making it impossible to look away.
Had Lilia not spoken to me, I would have been utterly entranced until the dance ended.
Whether she knew Xenon was lost in thought or not, Anelli continued her enthusiastic instruction.
“Here, the woman will move like this. Then you will… Ah!”
The smooth motion that had been guiding him suddenly faltered. Anelli’s upright body swayed backward.
“Whoa!”
Xenon strongly pulled the arm that was wrapped around her waist. Anelli’s center of gravity, which had shifted backward, now lurched forward.
Xenon, gazing down at her as she practically fell into his embrace, asked in a low voice.
“Is this also a dance move?”
“This is… it’s because the ground here is grassy. My shoes were a bit more slippery than I thought.”
Anelli replied in an embarrassed voice, cleared her throat, and straightened herself. Xenon’s view caught a flush of red spreading over her nape, which had been pale.
Seeing that made his throat feel inexplicably parched.
“Xenon, I’m fine now.”
Compared to yesterday, today’s Anelli was not at all glamorous.
Yet she was still beautiful.
Even with her hair loosely tied up in a simple updo, her face devoid of any special makeup, and her plain, everyday attire that was utterly unremarkable compared to yesterday’s.
It wasn’t merely because of her appearance. Xenon suddenly realized.
Whether she was the so-called Reviver, the second daughter of Roam, the former fiancée of the Crown Prince, the beheaded villainess, or the leader of the Dullahans…
No matter what epithet was attached, or not attached, Anelli always appeared beautiful in his eyes.
Even the sorrowful resignation deeply underlying her pessimistic and bleak gaze.
“Xenon?”
Anelli, still in his embrace, looked up curiously.
Gazing into those purple eyes, Xenon finally asked the question he should have asked long ago.
“Why are you teaching me to dance?”
“Huh?”
“Judging by your usual personality, it seems unlikely you’d make such an offer to anyone.”
At Xenon’s pointed remark, Anelli’s eyes widened slightly. A faint trace of bewilderment flickered in her slowly blinking eyes.
“Well, because when I want to dance, you’re the only one who can be my partner?”
Anelli answered in a flustered tone, then frowned and added in a slightly stronger voice.
“You said you’d go anywhere with me.”
“That was said with ulterior motives.”
At Xenon’s blunt remark, Anelli’s expression froze blankly.
“In fact, coming to the imperial palace itself was with ulterior motives.”
Looking at Anelli gazing up at him with an uncharacteristically innocent face made his poor heart burn.
No matter how he thought about it, Xenon felt terribly wronged.
Wasn’t this the same Anelli who had been so cold to Prince Heinri? The woman who showed no mercy even to royalty was acting so familiarly with Xenon.
Wasn’t it only natural, then, that he would give his heart to her?
‘Without even knowing how troubled I am right now.’
Xenon had never experienced such worries in his entire life, nor had he ever imagined he would.
Until now, he had vaguely recognized his own feelings but hesitated to define them clearly. He was afraid that the special treatment he was receiving now might disappear.
But he could no longer endure it.
“What… ulterior motives?”
“Sinister intentions. Lecherous, desiring many things.”
At his direct expression, Anelli was left speechless. Xenon, looking down at her, narrowed his eyes and asked quietly.
“You know all that and are still acting like this, right?”
This was actually Xenon’s wish. Because she treated him specially. Wouldn’t that lead to constant misunderstandings?
So he hoped.
“Since it’s my first time having a crush, I don’t know well, but is this all a misunderstanding?”
Just as he himself had grown fond through constant contact, kept looking at her, and eventually gave his heart, he wished the other party felt the same.
“If you know and still act like this, it means you’re trying to seduce me.”
Anelli didn’t even think to push Xenon away and just stared up at him blankly. Then, she suddenly averted her gaze.
As if she had finally found something to say, she barely moved her lips.
“You were the one who seduced first.”
Her voice was utterly cold, but the exposed curve of her ear was red. It was so cute that Xenon couldn’t look away.
Since when had he started thinking this woman was cute?
“Don’t think about backing out.”
Xenon readily admitted his past efforts to get closer to Anelli, who was putting up her guard, trying to approach without burdening her.
“You noticed.”
“Did you think I was a fool? So many people have liked me, do you think I wouldn’t recognize that?”
Anelli retorted quickly in a stiff voice and subtly tried to twist her body away. But since Xenon didn’t loosen his arm, she couldn’t move away at all.
After squirming a couple of times, she stopped moving as if giving up.
“If you dislike it, kick me away.”
“What?”
To her, looking up at him with bewildered eyes, Xenon emphasized in a firm voice.
“Kick me away.”
“…Were you always this extreme?”
Xenon, quietly staring at Anelli who neither pushed him away forcefully nor shouted at him to get off, tilted his head.
“I can’t tell at all whether you’ve fallen for it or not.”
Anelli, who had been moving her lips slightly, took a deep breath. Her calmly composed face was the expression Xenon had always seen.
“I have always been generous to you.”
“Come to think of it, you have.”
Xenon’s murmured words, spoken without thought, were tinged with laughter.
“Why are you so generous?”
“Because you are on my side.”
For some reason, Xenon felt as if she was about to burst into tears.
Even though there was not a hint of tears in her voice and expression, which were utterly dry.
“‘The side of me, who is nothing.’”
The whispering voice was extremely soft. But there was no difficulty understanding the words.
Because the distance between the two was so close that they could easily touch with just a slight movement.
Because, without realizing it, he had bowed his head just as close.
“You like me enough to be entranced by my beauty, like yesterday.”
Actually, it wasn’t just yesterday.
Xenon chuckled and pulled her closer.
“Since you’re so clever, you must know I have no intention of missing this opportunity now.”
“Opportunity?”
He felt the tips of their noses lightly touch.
*Startled.* His insides churned at the other’s surprised reaction.
“Yes, an opportunity.”
With a low murmur, their lips met.
The skin that touched was soft and hot. He couldn’t tell if the heat he felt was his own or Anelli’s.
Xenon, who traced her lower lip as if biting into soft ice cream, let out a sigh-like breath.
The lips that had parted briefly now met again, a little deeper. Even after swallowing the hot breath, his thirst didn’t subside, becoming more persistent.
The surrounding noise felt distant. Instead, ragged breaths and clinging hands occupied all his senses and paralyzed his reason.
It was a kiss so, so sweet it was suffocating.
* * *
「You are the only one who sees the author as naive.」
When Samuel said that, honestly, I didn’t pay much attention. I simply dismissed it, thinking he was saying that because his relationship with Xenon was bad.
But the reason Samuel’s words come back to me now is because I have come to fully agree with him.
Xenon is definitely not naive.
A naive person couldn’t possibly… act like that.
[Captain, I saw nothing.]
What shook me out of my dazed state was Bark’s booming shout.
[I really saw nothing!]
If I had a head, I would have smacked that chattering mouth.
[Shut up, Bark.]
“Thank you for saying what I wanted to say, Minte.”
When I calmly praised Minte, Bark crouched in his cage and sulkily slumped his shoulders.
Whatever he did, I lost interest in him and slumped back onto the outdoor table.
The surface of the table, cooled by the night air, soothed the heat of my flushed cheeks.
It was late at night now, and Xenon had returned to the guest room assigned to him.
‘Though he didn’t seem very willing to go.’
But what if he didn’t go? Was he going to sleep over at this detached palace? If he suddenly stayed over like this, it was obvious what the palace attendants would say the next day. Strange rumors would definitely…
‘…Even if rumors spread… wouldn’t they be not entirely false?’
If I hadn’t come to my senses at the sound of the grand fireworks set off from the banquet hall, I might have really let him stay at the detached palace.
“Ha…”
Since my revival, had there ever been a time when my mind was so empty and my vision so dark? Not even when I conversed with squirrels at the temple, or when I first met Nadav and was called ‘Captain,’ was it this bad.
Unconsciously touching my lips, I felt the slightly swollen skin.
“It’s swollen.”
Even though he usually acted so timid. That swindler, Xenon. If the kiss had lasted a little longer, my lips would have split.
[No blood, Captain.]
“…I didn’t ask, Bark.”
How did he see such details in the midst of all this? Without even having eyes?
[I said shut up, Bark.]
[But Minte…]
[Captain, the night is late, so you should rest now.]
Minte, who had ruthlessly ignored Bark, politely suggested.
I also thought that no matter how much I stayed out in the night air, nothing would be resolved. In fact, I was even confused about what exactly was troubling me.
「Since it’s my first time having a crush, I don’t know well, but is this all a misunderstanding?」
First of all, based on the circumstances, Xenon seduced me, um, lured me in. I fell for it. Kissing him wasn’t bad. And he probably felt the same?
…So, can we just say we both enjoyed it and leave it at that?
‘That can’t be.’
What face should I show him tomorrow? As if nothing happened? He likes me, so it’s obvious he won’t do that.
Then what about me? I am generous to Xenon, and honestly, I find great comfort in him.
What should I call this feeling?
“Captain.”
“…Yeah.”
I got up for now. As Minte said, the night was too late, and I had a feeling that no answer would come from further pondering.
All I could do was hope that when I woke up, my mind would regain proper reason.