“That is the story of your life.”
The Rusalka, speaking with Xenon’s face and Xenon’s voice, was chilling.
Even knowing it was a Rusalka, my senses were so vividly assaulted that it felt as if this were truly real.
“You will end up alone, abandoned by all, and fall ill in desolation.”
The Rusalka cackled and mocked me.
The sky, which I had thought clear and refreshing, had grown gloomy without my noticing. The lush meadow was gone, replaced in all directions by parched, cracked earth.
A gust of wind whipped a handful of sand into my face. I felt a stinging, almost burning sensation.
It’s an illusion, so how can it feel so real?
“Surely you didn’t believe those words of affection for you?”
“Enough of this absurd mockery. Hand over the pendant.”
“That… you cannot take it from me.”
The Rusalka seemed oddly triumphant. From its gaping mouth, a green light seeped out, clearer and brighter than before.
“Because I’ve swallowed it!”
This damned monster.
A curse rose to my throat, but a stronger gust of wind pushed me off-balance, and I missed the moment to spit it out.
Meanwhile, the Rusalka burst into laughter with a gleeful voice. Then, its expression suddenly turned serious.
The eyes, which had looked insane, now shimmered pitifully. The Rusalka, with its lips drawn down, spoke in a mournful tone.
“Ah, Lady Anelli. Surely you don’t intend to kill me?”
A flicker of hurt passed over its tense face. Astonishingly, it was the face of the Xenon I knew.
“Will you pierce me with that sword?”
At its words, I glanced down and saw a sword in my hand.
A short sword with a cold, blue-sharpened edge.
“And what if nothing changes even after you slit my belly? Lady Anelli, if you kill me, you will be left alone forever. In this empty space. You let everything else be destroyed, didn’t you? All that remains here is you and me. Will you kill even me and remain alone?”
From the clouds filling the sky, one drop, then two drops of rain fell.
As if proving the Rusalka’s words that the world had ended, no signs of life could be found around me. Not even a trace of warmth could be felt from my own trembling breath.
The cold raindrops striking my cheek chilled my heart.
“Lady Anelli, am I not precious to you?”
The loathsome Rusalka whispered.
Are you prepared to kill with your own hands the human you hold dear? Isn’t the mere thought of it horrifying?
Hearing that question, a filthy feeling surged as if I had been drenched in filth, and nausea rose.
Ah, thinking back, the Rusalka truly was a cunning, filthy, utterly detestable monster.
I finally stopped the train of thought. I didn’t want to recall any more.
“Damn it.”
Irritably sweeping back my bangs, I sat up in bed.
I should drink some water to settle myself. Just as I was thinking that and approaching the table, a faint sound came from beyond the balcony door.
‘An intruder?’
No, if that were the case, the Dullahans would have given some signal long ago. Holding the water glass, I stared intently toward the balcony.
The thick curtains prevented any shadows from showing. However, something seemed to be moving between the gaps of the curtains.
After a moment’s hesitation, I set down the glass and strode purposefully toward the balcony.
*Whoosh!*
I pulled the curtains aside with force and froze. The person standing outside the door also stared back at me with wide eyes.
“……Xenon?”
*Click.*
Unlocking and yanking the door open, the cold night air rushed into the bedroom all at once. I stepped aside, gesturing for him to enter.
“Uh, well.”
“Are you going to keep standing there?”
Flustered, his eyes darting about, he cleared his throat.
“It’s not that, I just……”
“Come in first.”
Xenon, looking awkward and hesitant, cautiously stepped into the bedroom. As soon as he entered, I closed the door, but the air in the room had already grown cool.
“I thought you were asleep.”
“As you can see, I’m not. So, what brings you here?”
Xenon, carefully pushing back his hood, was about to answer when his eyes met mine, and he averted his gaze with an embarrassed expression.
Puzzled by his behavior, I suddenly came to my senses and strode toward him.
“Is something wrong? Were you attacked? Are you hurt anywhere?”
“No, not at all!”
Xenon hastily stepped back. He still couldn’t look directly at me.
Frowning at his inexplicable attitude, I grabbed his arm and pulled him upright.
“Then why are you acting like this?”
With his arm seized, Xenon jumped and turned his head away completely.
“Um, do you have, like, a nightgown or something?”
His earlobes, as he desperately avoided looking at me, were visibly flushed red. Staring blankly at him, I finally looked down at my own attire.
As if to prove I had been about to go to bed, I was wearing a thin chemise.
A loose, unfitted dress-style garment, thin enough to reveal the contours of my body.
“Ah.”
Reflexively releasing his arm, he immediately put distance between us as if he had been waiting for the chance.
He retreated almost to the far corner of the bedroom, standing as if pressed against the wall. I stared at him blankly for a moment before calmly putting on a robe.
“I won’t eat you, so you don’t need to be so startled.”
“Eat you? Who’s saying such a thing now…!”
Xenon, looking flustered, tried to retort but then sighed and stopped. Glancing sideways to check my attire, he cautiously approached me.
Then, carefully reaching out, he meticulously fastened the front of my robe more securely.
However, as his gaze was still averted, he couldn’t fasten it neatly.
Watching his actions with an incredulous look, I asked in a calm voice.
“Did you come to inspect my sleepwear?”
“Of course not!”
Finally having swaddled me up to my collarbone and neck with the robe, he at last faced me.
“Ahem. Earlier, when we parted, your expression was so poor, I was worried.”
“If you were concerned about my condition, you could have used the ring.”
“I didn’t want to wake you if you were sleeping, so I came directly. Now that I’ve left the imperial palace, visiting here isn’t particularly difficult for me.”
Xenon seemed to regain his composure as he explained. Though a flush still lingered on his complexion, his gaze now held more reason.
“And since you absorbed the Rusalka’s attack entirely, I also wanted to check if there were any aftereffects.”
At the mention of the Rusalka, my face involuntarily contorted.
Seeing my reaction, Xenon narrowed his eyes and asked.
“Did something remain?”
“No, nothing like that.”
“But your expression is poor.”
“It’s just… thinking about it puts me in a bad mood.”
I had ultimately seized the power and opened my eyes. The Rusalkas, as if to prove they couldn’t be trusted, tried to attack me again, but Pallides’s sword, swung faster, ended them.
While trying to kill several at once, a few attempted to flee hastily into the water, but thanks to Samuel joining in, none escaped.
With that task complete, the stolen power was restored. It now resided within my hand.
“It seems escaping the final dream was… difficult for you.”
Instead of answering, I turned away. Picking up the glass I had set down earlier, I drained it in one gulp and looked back at Xenon.
“So, are you going to put me to sleep?”
When I asked nonchalantly, Xenon looked at me with a dumbfounded expression.
“……Pardon?”
“I was just struggling because I couldn’t sleep.”
He mouthed my words silently.
Repeating the action a couple of times, Xenon’s complexion turned pale, then ashen, and finally flushed red.
“Look, I am a person.”
“I know. That you’re a person.”
Seeing him standing there bewildered, I found it ridiculous that I had ever superimposed that damned illusion’s fake over him.
The Xenon the Rusalka mimicked only seemed cunning and sly.
‘*This* is the real one.’
As I was erasing the Rusalka that had called me a monster from my mind, Xenon spoke hastily.
“No, I mean, I’m not an illusion but a real presence.”
“I said I know.”
Responding indifferently, I headed toward the bed first.
‘Last time, I stayed by his side, so this time, I should have him keep watch by mine.’
As I had been considering calling in the Dullahans anyway, this suited me rather well.
Besides, with Xenon’s abilities, leaving the Roam estate would be easy, so I felt less guilty about detaining him at this late hour.
Even as I straightened the crumpled bedding, Xenon remained rooted to the spot.
“Are you normally this lacking in a sense of crisis?”
“Hardly. You know well how much I distrust and guard against people.”
After adjusting the pillow’s position, I looked back at Xenon.
Seeing him not having moved an inch from his spot, a wry laugh escaped me.
I said,
“What I meant was, I need the sound of breathing right now.”
At that moment, the confusion filling Xenon’s expression stiffened rigidly.
His lips moved uselessly before he finally let out a long sigh and removed his coat. He carelessly draped it over the sofa, then slowly approached me.
“I don’t know what to call this feeling of being both pleased and displeased.”
His face was as awkward as his grumbling murmur. I chuckled softly and turned away.
“If it’s pleasing, then it’s pleasing. If it’s displeasing, then it’s displeasing.”
“It’s pleasing that you asked me to stay by your side.”
Just as I was about to slip under the covers, a presence instantly drew near, pressing close behind my back.
An arm wrapped around my waist from behind, and my breath caught automatically.
“It’s also displeasing because you seem entirely unaffected by me.”
The grumbling voice by my ear was slightly lower. Somehow, the end of the tone seemed slightly… fractured.
Exhaling the breath I had held slowly, I turned my head to the side.
The golden eyes looking down at me from close range wavered lightly upon meeting mine.
Countless emotions swirled within them. So many that I couldn’t pick out just one.
“Do you have a nightmare you wish to forget?”
Xenon’s face as he asked that was closer than I had thought.
Close enough for his breath to reach me.
What is it that I need right now?
Gazing up at Xenon, who was managing to keep only his breath reaching me at this close distance, a sudden question arose.
Why am I making absurd excuses to keep Xenon here?
‘What I desire from this man right now is…….’